[x]

Poisonous FearMy poisonous shadow of fear
Glue-like hands and fingernails
Crawling up my swollen spine
Sinking into exposed brain
It chains itself inside
It binds me to its presence

Within a self-abusing mind
Within a body made of shiver
Nightmares broke my running legs
And made my eyes see light
A promise of unbroken world
That I can never have

A shattered personality
An intoxicated sanity
Addicted to my dread
I listen to its silent breathing
I am what it came for
I'm the monster that I fear

SeedHer hands moved in anguish over the ground
For soon a seed would grow
Planted by a man
But which she did not know

So she removed it
Before its roots took hold
And the sad, sad truth
Was mother nor child grew old

UntamedLost in the reality
In between molecules of dust
I grasp and search for solid ground
But I'm transparent

All the complexity
All possibilities of existence
Pour into me in one moment
And mindlessly fill my mind

I dissolve instantly
The corporeal shell crumbles
Until the last drop
Of my sanity flows away

Lost in the world
I see all but myself
I am everything plugged in
I am space-time untamed

No EscapeThere is no escape from yourself
Crossing a river you return the same
There is no alternative reality
Where you could exist

There is only now and here
And all else is a neural construct
There is no running away
Lost you could not loose yourself

And there is no mindlessness
As no mind could comprehend it
There is only natural movement
In a mind that is untouched
In a body that is liquid
Undefined by its shape
Unconstrained and wide open

the road i'm onI'm walking this road alone
My past is here, but my future's gone
Darkness grows where the sun should shine
You lied when you said everything was fine
Then where is the love, the love to be mine
I'm pleading, pleading just one more time
father forgive me for all my crime
i have nothin' to give but all my sins'
You can have it you can hold it
I'd give you my soul, but i already sold it

TwinkleThe gift of life
so precious and brief,
gives off a light
a soul can see.

Gaze into
the eyes of another,
the answer there
within you will discover.

The light that shines
in the eyes of a life,
twinkles like a star
in the wonder of the night.

A magical spark
that gives no hue,
simply showing off
the life in you.

The opposite is
an ashen blue,
the end of a life
its secret clue.

It's the color of the sky
with a gathered haze,
not deep and blue
but cold and grey.

You see it with love
when you look in the eyes,
of souls that are ending
their journey through life.

I looked into your eyes today
and I did not see the sky,
I feel a sense of cal

I'm a Lovely Disaster.........I'm a Lovely Disaster....................

A night of laughter, a day filled with smiles.
Tomorrow may be a disaster, a train wreck that goes on for miles.
I'll sleep in peace tonight, and for this night alone.
My hearts an ungodly sight, my body made of frail bone.
I learned today how fucked up I am, and all I know is that I'll be okay.
Eventually I'll get through it all, mam. There's truly nothing more to say.

What A WasteI can't waste my day away
Like this,
But clouds are passing over me and
Acid rising up inside me.
I see no alternative
But tears.

Now is not the time for idle
Pity,
But you are not the man we all
Expected you to be.
You are a ghost of love,
A body with capacity to care,
But thicker, deeper is your childishness
And arrogance.
You scare me.

What have we become?

The Forgotten DeadThe scorched land's thirst
had long been slaked
by the blood which once soaked the earth
leaving the sands still rust stained.

Now parched as if cursed
by battles long fought, lost or won,
neither victories nor defeats hold meaning,
only bitter memories remain
and forgotten heroes.

A murder of ravens,
those carriers of the dead gather
upon the unmarked graveyard,
the old bones of warriors underground
long forsaken.

Can they have any peace
for the nightmares which haunt
their eternal sleep?

Only those scavenger birds
that bore their souls away
still remember where they lie
and the secrets buried with them.

FredeteufelYou did what it said,
And lived how it taught
And now it crumbles and crashes
By your feet, your lost feet
On the wrong ground.
Never once did you expect
To be here
Not there
But here you are nonetheless
You let yourself in
Funny thought that, walking yourself to hell.
Darkness surrounds you, metaphorically
Truthfully, it's as bright day
You shrink to the shadows
Lost invitations, ant people, God club
Swirling thoughts of a mad man
WHY. AM. I. HERE?
Swiveling eyes look round and round
Assessing the surrounding
You don't fit
You're the irregular puzzle piece
The whale on the motor way
He's here now
Not like you expected

LifeThe careless movement of flowing hands,
dancing whimsically along
with the scent of peach cigars permeating
the atmosphere.
Distant sweet giggles of
ecstasy are
Heard echoing through on
perfumed necks of
girls too young to
Understand life itself.

What tales do the newly free know
when all they understand is the
Concept of being free and
nothing more?

To take a chance,
young and alone
The injustice of being tied
down to commitment.

SYMBIOSIS SICKNESSCan he feel the heat frustration?
Wonder I in masturbation.
Can he taste salt blood mutilation?
In my body devastation.
Am I me?
Or am I he?
Do the separate souls make we?

Does this smile I paint seem fake?
An empty life of full mistakes.
Forget my name in his embrace!
All I am is all he takes.
Am I me?
Or am I he?
Do the separate souls make we?

I am she whom he did grant to be.
A paper doll.....a whore's virginity.
He stole my self declared identity.
Worship still his fucking entity.
Am I me?
Or am I he?
Do the separate souls make we?

Mea Culpa Sometimes I want my existence to be noticed by you.
We walk around like
two opposite
magnetic rods and
discharge our feelings and the
truth elsewhere as not to
attract attention.

There are times where we could
act like we're in love but
you'd never want that at all.

What is this love? My own fault for trying to be happy.

Clearly not good enough, because
I'm not good enough.
The space
between us
is getting bigger and
I'm afraid what we had
is now lost in missed birthdays,
unspoken I love yous and all
the tears trickling down
each side of my face.

It hurts, like
it's pushing down
harder, I'm getting dragged down, and

My illnessesI'm fading, losing myself
Hating everything I do,
Hating everything about me
Why can't it just end?

I'm relapsing,
My happiness goes just as fast as it comes,
I want it to just stop,
I want everything to just stop,
The fights, the drama, the stress-
the crying, the screaming, the cutting, breathing..

I hate that I want to die..
I want to want to live so badly,
But I just can't..

I was fine for a month or so,
but it's all coming back,
I feel that I'm growing empty again,
I'm hurting myself again,
and even trying to work up the courage to just end it all..

I want so badly not to feel this way,
I fear myself,
I'm so scared..

We Won't Miss ThisYou're so sweet
You make me weep
But I won't miss you
If you decide you're better off leaving

And you, you seem to know me better
Than anyone in this town
I won't blame you if you're better off leaving.

We are gonna be just fuckin' fine
I can pretend we never had you around
But we're all afraid we're not on your mind

We are gonna be just fucking perfect
I can pretend I never fell for you
And you knew that the drama was never worth it

You're so, so terribly sweet
You, you make me weep
But this town won't miss you
We're all better off leaving.

We are gonna be just fuckin' fine
I can pretend we never had you around
But we're a

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More from ~Elendurwen

Fake illuminationHuman! What has become of you?
Comfortable between the four walls you call home, blind to all around you. Even blind to what is within yourself. So much self-pity, sensitivity, so many desires about things you will never have or never need.

Creatures of nature! What has become of you?
Forgotten about the peaceful wind and soothing air, about the divine embrace of pure moonlight. How many of you have even seen moonlight on a clear silent night sky?

Why are you so empty?
Some bored of their pure existence, some not even realising they should be bored? 'The society' dictates what you want and what you need, the media control you, a few of

Forbidden fruitForbidden fruit
Is so delightful
Forbidden feelings
And a mouthful

Of unspoken words
They die when they're born
A world of unseen thoughts
Like flies in a swarm

They circle around
A light from behind the door
Into the things that
Will return never more

Forbidden places
Inside my mind expand
They keep me alive
So active and content

Fruit I cannot have -
It makes me want it more
Its cold and exciting
Shapes that never bore

I let its scent touch me
And close my blinking eyes
And silently scratch me
Till all conscious dies

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Submitted: July 9, 2012
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Shattered

by ~Elendurwen, Jul 9, 2012, 12:08:32 PM
Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

The desire to destroy
Spreads like black flood in my veins
It squeezes and chokes
And there is no air left

Only dull remains
Few shattered pieces of my brain
Empty eye sockets
And screaming neural waves

All my strength
Dissolves into nothingness
Into the darkness unseen
Into the place unknown

Grinning nightmares
Quietly dance on my grave
I dug it myself
By my own I sink in
As only when I'm dead
I can be complete

Shatteredby ~Elendurwen

Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

I have been struggling with some weird states of mind lately - which is why I haven't been so active on DA over the last couple of weeks. Finally I felt the urge to put some of those feeling into words..